Love’s Gold Standard

Life in Christ Lutheran Church

Albertville MN

1/31/10

1Corinthians 12:31-13:13

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

 

Show of hands: How many of us here today who have heard this exact-same text read at a wedding? So you’ve noticed it’s popular too! Almost without fail, in the course of premarital instruction, bride and groom to be will choose this as one of the texts for their wedding. They can’t help it. It talks so much about love that it seems so very perfect for the romantic mood they are seeking to create on their wedding day.

But I’m guessing they don’t realize what they are really buying into. For this text is as far away from “romantic” love as one can possibly get; it is one of most strict and unwavering applications of the God’s law that there is. It is here that Paul expresses what he calls “the most excellent way” . It’s really the Gold Standard for love.

Imagine if I preached this at a wedding in the way that it deserved to be preached. Imagine with me for a moment what that would be like:

Love is patient: have you been patient with this other person that you are about to marry, will you always be patient with this other person, if your answer is no, you have not loved.

 

Feeling the burn yet? Let’s continue

Love is not self-seeking: Why are you marrying this person today? Are you doing this because the other person looks good, you like them and you are planning to get something out of your connection with them. If so, you have not loved. For that is self-seeking and love is not self-seeking.

 

Had enough? Or are you thirsty for more? one more:

 

Love keeps no record of wrongs: So you have completely forgotten everything that the person whom you are marrying has done that might hurt you? If you haven’t, you have kept a record of wrongs and you are not are currently loving that person. For love keeps no record of wrongs.

 

That’s enough I suppose. Do you see what I mean? Powerful law. This Love that Paul talks has nothing to do with all those romantical feelings that people wish to foster in their weddings. Real love is not about feelings, but rather its about duty towards another person. Your duty regardless of what you get out of it. Your duty regardless of how the other might make you feel at any given moment.

One fellow that I was reading recently goes so far as to say that marrying someone is really an act of charity. My wife can attest to that! If ever there was an act of charity, this was it. I poke fun at myself, but I actually agree with the guy. To love a fellow sinful human being and pledge your love for life to that same sinful human being, is an act of charity. Love is not self-seeking! It is for the benefit of the other and not ours. Isn’t that, the very definition of charity? To do something for another.

Furthermore, to love someone means that we will not grow impatient; that we will not be easily angered; that we will not keep a record of wrongs; that we will protect and trust them; that we will hope for and with them. Is this not behaving charitably towards another? And we pledge to do it for a lifetime! It could be argued that getting married is the most charitable thing we will ever do. Nothing else that we do requires such a commitment. It’s life-long and involves everything about you. It’s not as easy as spending a Saturday at a local soup kitchen...It’s constant and life long.

This is love. Very difficult. None of us do it perfectly. We spend our lives just barely clinging to a scrap of it and trying to improve upon it. And because we are so stricken by our own sinful nature, progress in love can be very slow at times. But that’s the thing. That’s the point of the marriage vows. In the vows we actually take a pledge to stick to it. At the heart of every successful marriage is a man and a woman who have each committed themselves to the effort of love.

Marriage fails when they refuse to try. They ruin their relationship with their spouse because they do the opposite of what paul says: they are impatient, easily angered, and they keep a record of wrongs; they don’t protect, they don’t hope and they trust. They are totally self-seeking. Whining about how they didn’t get what they deserve. “Boo Hoo!” “Poor Me!” They got no clue. They refuse to look past themselves. They refuse to behave charitably.

Is there any help? With as much as a third of the marriages in this country failing and the most successful practitioners of marriage still struggling to figure it out, we obviously could use some pretty serious help in matters of love And help is exactly what we have in our Lord. 1 John 4:19 says “We love because he first loved us.” Now if ever there was a fitting passage for a marriage ceremony, this is it! It’s not just law, but has grace as well And we’re going to need a lot of grace if ever we are going to make it in love.

“We love because he first loved us.” That means that what love we can produce is a direct result of his love in our lives. And his love cannot be denied. It is expressed most clearly in Jesus, His Son. If you go through 1Cor. 13 and replace the word love with the word Jesus, you’ll see what I mean. Check this out, it’s very cool:

Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind. He does not envy, He does not boast, He is not proud. He is not rude, He is not self-seeking, He is not easily angered, He keeps no record of wrongs. Jesus does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. Jesus always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Jesus never fails.

 

See? Jesus is the very embodiment of love and he has come into your life! He came for the purpose of giving you his all. There was nothing especially attractive or charming about you that caused him to do this for you. Nope. He knew what you were about ; knew what was in your heart; knew you as a poor, pitiful sinner who needed a big hand up. He had compassion on you. He gave up his life on the cross so that you could rise to a new life. Your salvation is not something that you have earned or even deserved, it was an complete act of charity done for you by Jesus.And as first John says, “we love, because he first loved us.” Since he has been charitable to you, you can now afford to be charitable to others.

Are you struggling in love? Welcome to the club. And now that you’ve admitted it maybe you can admit it to Jesus. He can help you know. Ask him to give you an extra measure of his Holy Spirit. That Holy Spirit can really help you to see clearly and cut through the clutter in your brain and help you stop kidding yourself. If your grousing over your marriage, ask yourself, with the spirits help, why this is so. Are you grumbling because the other person is not giving you what you think they should? That sounds kind of self-seeking to me. That’s a failure to love. Have you been rude too? Are you proud? Have you been keeping a record of wrong? Have you failed to be charitable towards the other?

I suggest you take the bulletin insert home with you and read Paul’s Gold standard (1Cor. 12:31-13:12) and use it to diagnose yourself. (Yourself and not your spouse....if you take this home and use it to hammer your spouse, you’ve not heard a word that was said today) Read it and honestly ask, is that me or not? Confess your failures to Jesus today.

Jesus took a vow too you know.... A vow to give his all for the love of you. He has not backed away from that. He’s still giving you 100%. He will forgive your sin and by his spirit he will give you strength to keep your vow to love. We love because he loved us. AMEN