Dealing with the “Shoulds”

Rev. Michael Trask

Romans 6:1-11

Epiph. 1

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Are you what you should be? Let me get a little more specific: If you are Father, are you a good father? Have you set example for your children? Or has your example been somewhat lacking? If you are a Mother, are you a good mother? Have you raised your children with wisdom and understanding? And if you are a Son or Daughter, What kind of son or daughter have you been? Have you been respectful. Do you give your parents the honor they deserve? Are they proud of the way you have behaved out there in the world? Or do you make them ashamed and embarrassed?

All of us, I think, have a pretty good idea of what we should be. There’s a lot of “shoulds” aren’t there? There’s a cascade of shoulds falling down and burying each of us. And that’s what gets us is, we know that we aren’t everything we should be. All of those shoulds accumulate like a heavy black cloud that can follow us around and make everything seem dark.

So what can be done? The prevailing opinion and strong cultural undercurrent is that you should simply get rid of the shoulds. “Declare yourself independant! Cut yourself loose, so that you are free to be yourself, after all, you have given so much, you have suffered so much and you deserve a break” However, there’s a problem with this approach. Most of those shoulds you ares supposed to get rid of have to do with the people in your life. If everybody ignores their obligations to the people of their lives, what kind of world will that make? It’s not the kind of world I want to live in!

Before we ignore or get rid of our shoulds, why don’t we try to figure out why the shoulds are bugging us in the first place. And I’m guessing you already know why they are bugging you: It’s the almighty ME raising his ugly head. ME sees a big world with lots of fun things to do do and ME wants to do them but can’t because ME has commitments, obligations. So ME pines away in his life because ME thinks ME is not being fulfilled. ME can get pretty pouty and whiny when ME doesn’t get what ME wants.

Me-ism is the most basic form of sin that there is. It could be argued that all other sins originate from the almighty ME. And it is this ME, this demanding, whining, wimpering, sobbing, self-absorbed, self-gratifying ME which takes all the joy out of marriage and parenting , friendship and occupation. It is the ME that sours these otherwise joyful aspects of life.

So no, it’s not the people in your life that need to be cut off, its the ME. The Almighty ME that lives inside you and demands that you and everybody else pay homage. That part of you must be eliminated if you ever want to know true joy. But how do you eliminate it? And how do you eliminate the almighty ME without also eliminating the essential YOU. That is what God set about to do with his Son Jesus. God Created us. He liked the way he created us. So even though our very beings were thoroughly corrupted by sin, he found a way to redeem us, to reclaim us and to restore us; to separate us from our sins without hurting the essential us: to separate YOU from your almighty ME. He did it through his Son Jesus, who pulled our sins from us and took them upon himself as he went to the cross to die. And your connection to him is your baptism.

Paul writes: “Don’t you know, that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that Just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the father, we too may live a new life.”

Do you grasp the significance of this text! It is saying that through baptism that we have a very real connection to the Death of Jesus. Even though Jesus died on the cross almost 2000 years ago. Even though it was thousands of miles away, on a little hill in palestine, by baptism we are taken there. The sinful part of you, the almighty ME is taken there, where he can be put down.

You have heard it said that your sins were nailed to the cross. Now that is not just some fancy cliche’ that preachers like to use to get peoples attention. It is an actual event brought about by a power that goes beyond our understanding. By the power of God the Son, through baptism, the Almighty ME is crucified. Put down. Silenced.

But wait, there’s more. Your baptism also established a very real connection to his ressurrection. Paul says, “just as Christ was raised from the dead, through the glory of the father, we too may live a new life.” A new life; a new YOU arizes. And in the new you, there is much more room for others, much more room. The people to whom you are responsible are no longer the burden that they used to be! You look at others differently, That’s because you are made new by the power of baptism and the forgiveness of sins. The ME is dead, Long live the new YOU.

If you haven’t yet figured it out, the real battle ground is right here [Heart]! That’s what people didn’t get about Jesus, they thought he came to help in the battle against earthly enemies. But the real battle ground is in here. In your heart and in the heart of every person. Jesus said “The kingdom of God is within you.” That’s the territory that must be conquered. You have been made aware of this battle. You have been made alive to God in Christ Jesus. There is no excuse for you to shrink back in retreat! There is every reason for you to move forward! If you find yourself feeling whiney or pouty, or angry at the people that you live with and work with, nine times out of ten, its your mighty me needing to be put down again. You do that by confessing it...and going to the cross with your sin.

In his small catechism, Martin Luther explained in this way. “What does baptism signify? It signifies that the Old Adam (the old sinful nature, the almighty me) in us should, by daily contrition and repentance, be drowned and die with all sins and the evil lusts, and, again, a new man daily come forth and arise who shall live before God in righteousness and purity.”

That’s how we become who we should be! That’s how we become who I think we also want to be. AMEN